More at the NY York Times.
Computer illiterate people
As the treasurer of an organization, I’m responsible for ordering membership badges. At our Christmas Party last month, one member walked up and asked me if I could order a badge for his 10-year-old son. After I got home, I sent the member an email asking him to confirm his son’s name, mailing address and so on.
Today, 36 days (!) after my outgoing email, the father responded that I had the right name and address and then he offered the following editorial:
Sorry to take so long to reply. Our computer has been down since summer time and my brother-in-law just got it kind of working. It’s not perfect but it works so I’m trying to catch up on e-mails. We are the most computer illiterate people in the world – each of us has several thousand unread e-mails dating back at least 2 years. We live our lives in the real world and really could not [sic] care less if computers had not ever been invented.
The real world?
It’s not widely known, but the direct dial phone preceded the computer by 28 years. Prior to direct dial, you picked up the party line phone, Mabel answered and connected you … and then probably listened in. When direct dial became popular, you had to look numbers up and interface with that phone thingee – Actually dial the numbers yourself!
From a human interaction standpoint, I don’t see a lot of different between the transition to direct dial phones and the transition to computers/email. So when I apply the 28-year factor to this year, 2012, I come up with the following:
Imagine telling people in 1984 (28 years ago) that you lived in the “real world” and weren’t going to communicate via direct dial phone.
I feel sorry for the couple, and I really feel sorry for the 10-year-old who will soon want a computer of his own. What will be his parent’s reaction?
Official Christmas Resignation
Dear Hallmark, Target, Barnes and Noble and all the rest:
Please accept this letter as my notice of resignation, effective immediately.
This was an easy decision to make. I have spent too many of my years mindlessly wandering malls looking for the perfect gift for that special relative I see maybe one, maybe four, times a year. After very little consideration, I have decided to ignore your Black Friday sales, your Christmas specials, your post-Christmas blowouts and anything else associated with the season. Why? Let me count the reasons:
- The hundreds of “valued customer” emails I receive that are obviously cranked out by some mindless computer with no special thought that I now have to sift through.
- The mindless idiots who hold up thirty cars waiting for one parking spot to open up when another spot two cars earlier would have been much faster for everyone involved.
- The throngs of shoppers who go as a group and use blocking aisles as a social event for themselves.
- The extremely narrow aisles at stores that just aggravate #3, above.
- The store managers who place interesting items at the end of these narrow aisles so #3 and #4 are more likely to occur.
- The other store managers who don’t manage checkout properly so standing in the wrong line is a penalty. (Bed, Bath and Beyond, I’m talking about you.)
- The seasonal employees who offer to help, but then when asked a simple question respond with “Let me go check with my manager.”
- The [bleeping] teenager on her cell phone who didn’t notice my car and narrowly avoided hitting me, and whose slamming on the brakes scared the [bleep] out of everyone behind her.
- The other [bleeping] teenager on her phone who did hit someone while backing out of her parking space!
- The many Goodwill, Teen Rescue and others who further block and mug shoppers trying to get in and out of stores.
- The traffic.
- The stress of unrealistic expectations.
- And I’ll say it, some of the oft-repeated Christmas music barely qualifies as music. It’s so bad it deserves a place on the Gong Show.
So there you have it – A baker’s dozen reasons why I no longer want to play. Call me a Grinch - I might actually be proud of it – But I’m sitting the next one out. And the one after that. And so on. I quit and there’s no amount of money or perks that will get me to reconsider.
Any questions?
Pomegranates, I love ‘em!
Pomegranates, I love ‘em!
And pomegranates, I hate ‘em! Large is the number of t-shirts and other clothes permanently stained by a juicy berry. And deep are the stains in cutting boards – Even the plastic ones!
And the extraction process is a pain … until today. Today I figured out a great way to isolate the berries from the fruit’s membrane:
- Fill a large bowl with water.
- With a sharp knife, slice halfway through the pomegranate, enough to pry it apart by hand.
- With the pomegranate submerged in the water, gently pry the berries off the membrane with your hands.
The freed berries sink to the bottom of the bowl while the lighter membrane rises to the surface. And any berries that do squirt their juice will not do a lot of damage in the bowl of water.
Pomegranates, I love ‘em!
Five Rules to Remember in Life
Not original, but funny!
- Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
- Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
- Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
- Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
- Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Blogging Terrorists
Following in the grand tradition of United States senators commenting on technology topics they know nothing about (See Senator Ted Stevens), Senator Joe Lieberman recently penned a letter to Google CEO Larry Page. Seems Joe was pretty upset that Jose Pimentel – an alleged al-Quida sympathizer who planned to bomb military and police targets – had a blog on Google’s personal blogging site, Blogger.
According to Verge, Joe wrote that “As demonstrated by this recent case, Google’s webhosting site, Blogger is being used by violent Islamist extremists to broadcast terrorist content.” Joe continued that “Blogger’s Content Policy does not expressly ban terrorist content nor does it provide a ‘flag’ feature for such content.”
Huh? Content Policy? Blogger already has a ban on “hate or violence.” That’s not enough? Doesn’t terrorism fall under “hate or violence?”
But a flag? Serious? We don’t have enough Facebook “Like” and Google “+1″ flags? Joe thinks we need a “Terrorist” flag for blogs?
Hm, please don’t be offended, but I’ll get to work on my “Terrorist” flag just as soon as I finish my “Uninformed US Senator” flag …
Next Big Thing
Whether Android or Apple fanboys, mocking them is fun …
The funniest line occurs at 0:43 …
Fanboy #1: “I could never get a Samsung. I’m creative.”
Fanboy #2: “Dude, you’re a barista!”
Protect your brand, secure your .XXX
Life was simple back in the old days. There were .gov sites, .com sites, .net sites and .org sites for government, commercial, networking and non-profit websites. Somewhere along the line, .mil snuck in for military sites, and then the organization (ICANN) that assigns TLDs (Top Level Domains) went crazy with ccTLDs, or country code TLDs.
Today you can buy a .us domain, ,.uk or .de domain or some with more interesting applications like .ly or .to – I would imagine planning.to would be a great domain for a procrastinator. (Don’t bother, someone already grabbed it.)
But back to simple TLDs. They expanded as well with .biz, .info, .travel and 20-30 more. But more recently the .xxx TLD for adult sites became available. When new TLDs become available, there’s a procedure for selling domains.
Companies or individuals with trademarks get a sunrise period to protect their brand. That ended Oct. 28 and I would imagine ibm.xxx, ford.xxx and vatican.xxx have already been snapped up by their owners to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands. Next is a landrush period for members of the sponsored community – In this case the adult community – To grab their favorite domains. For .xxx, that period is Nov. 8 to Nov. 25. Then, general availability begins, and for .xxx, this period begins Dec. 6. That’s when you and I can buy .xxx domains to our heart’s content.
The reason I know this is because my registrar sent me a note suggesting I “Protect your brand, secure your .XXX” They’re giving me an opportunity to ensure no one else buys “woodp.xxx.”
Hm, their motive is obvious profit driven – Domain registrations is their business – But I don’t recall a similar email when .biz, .info, .travel and the 20-30 other options were made available. Clearly, they’re hoping I react to some evil person grabbing woodp.xxx, and perhaps .xxx versions of the other domains I own.
So? I’ve decided I’m not going to grab it or any other .xxx options. It’s too desperate a move by my registrar. Will I regret it years from now? Time will tell.
Another Settlement Check!
Two checks in three days? Wow, I’m on a roll!
Once again, I’m not completely sure what I did to deserve this class action settlement check. It seems that some time between April 21, 2005 and August 26, 2009, I listed something (or I purchased something) at ebaymotors that incurred a $26.65 fee. I was buying and selling motorcycles and motorcycle parts back then. Maybe that’s where the fees came from?
In any case, this settlement check is a measly $1.78. The earlier $18.04 was better. Hey, I got a check – Perhaps I shouldn’t be complaining? After all, I’m up by $19.82.
Wonder what surprises will lurk in tomorrow’s mail?
Settlement Check!
Boy, if I had a nickel for every one of those class action settlement letters I receive, why then by now I’d have maybe two dollars and change!
You know what I’m talking about? Every now and then someone thinks they got a bum deal in some financial transaction, and sue as a class. I don’t fully understand – If some broker did me wrong, I’d want to go after them by myself rather than including 80,000 of my closest friends who now share in my booty. I mean, it seems to me that the only people who profit from class action suits are lawyers. What am I missing here?
I know I’m party to a class action suit against Yahoo because I held a couple hundred shares back when they turned down Microsoft’s $33 offer. I have long since sold the shares (at $12) but I wonder where that lawsuit is …
Anyway, today I received a disbursement check! I’m pretty sure it’s the first one I’ve ever received. Reading the check’s fine print suggests that I purchased something overseas using one of my credit cards. I’m guessing that the credit card company gave an unfavorable exchange rate (and pocketed the difference) and this lead to the class action suit.
There’s not enough information to know which overseas trip, nor which credit card, nor even how much I spent, but appearently it was enough to qualify for $18.04 of damages!
$18.04! Wow! The big question now is … Do I invest my gains in lottery tickets or a cheap bottle of wine? Hmm..